Match.com, Yahoo personals, Single Parent Network, Plenty of Fish and eHarmony. Unless you are living in a cave without electricity you know these are online dating sites.
The bad rep online dating has seems to be fading. As well it should. We are all busy with jobs, kids, and life. We use the Internet for everything from shopping, stock trading to keeping close to relatives. Why not use it to find a partner? It is practical. If you haven’t used a dating site yet, tons of tutorials and advice can be found online, but here is a quick overview:
· Pick a site (Plenty of Fish is free, so practice on that one).
· Answer the questions honestly and with humor.
· Post your best current photos.
· Wait for “winks”, or “flirts” or whatever the site calls them or if you are the proactive type – start sending feelers out to those you are interested in. Women often wait for men to initiate but there is no rule here. And men sometimes lose interest when there is a lack of response.
· Once you have a few partners that you are emailing – turn off your profile temporarily so you do not become overwhelmed.
· Move from writing to a phone call relatively soon.
· If all seems good, make the coffee date.
Dating on the Big Island takes creativity. We don’t have a slew of nightclubs, independent movie theaters, art galleries or a symphony. In fact most places are dead by 9:00PM. Kona stays open later but the choices are limited.
When I first moved here I was not the water nut I am now. So dating consisted of; the initial coffee shop first meeting followed by dinner somewhere and maybe a walk. It is best to do something active for the second date. Most over forties are looking for active partners.
The Big Island has lots of opportunities for activity. Pick up a copy of “Big Island Revealed” and look for hikes, water sports, best-hidden beaches, ocean tours, etc. Lots of ideas in there and it will give you a chance to explore that rarely happens unless we are taking guests. Try to pick things that are somewhat public and drive there yourself the first few times, just to be safe. A picnic at a beach where you can watch Windsurfers is ideal. Anaeho’omalu is the most popular windsurfing spot. A boat tour for snorkeling, whale watching or swimming with dolphins is really fun too. I am not crazy about dinner cruises but that is an option. Stop by any scuba store or hotel and they’ll have a list of boat tours to choose from.
I have been dating again for almost four years now. My advice is to have fun, do not invest in an outcome too early, most of your dates will not lead to anything. Do not get discouraged and keep your sense of humor. So what if one of your dates posted photos taken 20 years ago? It gives you something interesting to talk about with the next date. And when a potential partner shares his love of women’s shoes try to be open minded and then giggle about it with your friends. Think of it as a journey.
You can explore Hawaii while you are doing all this. Try new things, see new sites, meet new people and remember to do it with Aloha.